Time, time,time, see what's become of me

While I looked around

For my possibilities;

I was so hard to please.

But look around,

leaves are brown

and the sky is a hazy shade of winter.

We have had several very foggy days recently which make it very hard to see what is just ahead. Even more true psychologically. A friend of both Mary Kay and mine suddenly collapsed and died just over a week ago, a man seemingly full of life. Our friend was a great grandfather, father, husband, friend, colleague and will be missed by many.This was another reiteration that nothing is guaranteed, that we should live and treasure each day as it comes.

time and space

"Time and space are only forms of thought."

I disagree with this completely. Reality is not some subjective psychological construction that each individual constructs for his/her own interests. The basic belief of science is that there is an objective reality that exists independently of me and will continue after I am gone. And the second part is that it is possible to learn something about this reality. It is true that individuals often tend to color their perceptions to fit their interests, but there is an underlying objective reality.

peace within

"As long as the agitation goes on within us, peace can never come - even if we're the only people left in the world."
How true! Several times in the past few weeks, I have found myself getting upset and later asking myself why did I become so agitated over what ultimately wasn't all that significant. One example was when our printer was misbehaving when I needed to print something out for that evening. I was pretty irritated, cussed, bumped my head messing around with cables behind the table, etc. Then there were the IT folks at work who sent email saying that "at my convenience" I was required to install new security software on my computer (which slowed it down considerably), etc. I had some un-Christmas season like thoughts about these folks. But when I am more mindful of what is really important and avoid needless irritations, I am a much more peaceful person. One resolution I have for the new year is to seek more inner peace.

peace

"simply being tough enough to subdue an adversary does not guarantee peace."

But this is the usual kind of "peace" that exists being peoples and nations. Think of the pax Romana of the roman empire or, in our time, the "peace" that existed in the Soviet empire when the Russians were in control. When that iron hand was removed, one ethnic group turned on another within the former empire. The other kind of "peace", peace of mind, non-agressiveness, non-enviousness, can exist more easily in individuals or even small groups, but seem rare or even non-adaptive in large groups. I think of European Jews of the early 20th century who were mostly pacifist and non-violent and who were mostly led easily to their destruction in the Nazi camps. President Obama in Oslo justified America's presence in Afghanistan with language that sounded very much like the Catholic doctrine of "just wars". There are times when a violent response is appropriate. There was a story on the news yesterday of a woman who killed a man who was breaking into her home by smashing a sliding glass door with a chair. While we never want violence, in that kind of situation, a moral choice has to be made for the lesser evil.

beauty and truth

Under old business, something I was reading last night was very apropos of our discussions of beauty and its role in the spiritual life a short time ago. The first was a reference to Christian Mystic Simone Weil who believed that beauty is God's lure to attract us to him. This was used by theologian Henri Nouwen in explaining the significant role Rembrandt's painting "Return of the Prodigal Son" had on his life. Second was the discovery of a public letter John Paul II wrote to artists emphasizing the role art and beauty play in fulfilling the church's mission. He quotes the theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar, for example,

"Beauty is the last word that the thinking intellect dares to speak, because it simply forms a halo, an untouchable crown around the double constellation of the true and the good and their inseparable relation to one another."

So beauty, truth, the good are all connected.

peace

"Peace is not an event, it is a state of mind and an attitude of soul."
We were talking about this just yesterday. At this time of year especially, so many people are stressed and frustrated by the secular idea of Christmas, rushing from here to there, worrying about what to buy Aunt Emmy, stretching themselves financially. One woman wrote in our local paper yesterday that by Jan. 1, her idea of the Christmas season consists of family feuds, tantrums and physical exhaustion. It reminded me of the words of the prayer at Mass after the Our Father: Deliver us Lord from every evil and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our savior Jesus Christ. So the Christian prospect is for peace of mind, protection from needless anxiety, an attitude of hope and joy and waiting. I like this much better than frustration and being stressed out.

Leisure

Now there's a thought; Leisure! When I don't feel that I have to "do something", I call it leisure. To "give" myself leisure is difficult. I always want to use "my time" productively and put much effort in planning for what I can do. Going to the anywhere in the Bay Area takes time and there are preparations to be made. But, by the time I stand in front of a great piece of art or hear the music, I can exhale. Then it is followed by days of reliving the experience to remind me of the wonder of it all. I am still reliving the Louvre or the Muese d'Orsay in Paris from 2000. And I didn't see it all. So in my mind, I revisit the experience and it reminds me of the beauty of it all. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Now that I mention it, I think I need to go and see the rest of it. : )